Sometimes I forget that I am nothing, I think I am a such-a-much, or could be if only I applied myself. Sometimes I forget that I have nothing (spiritually that is, physically I know I have been richly blessed) and instead think that God had quite a find when He found me. Other times I remember all too well, I am rocked by waves of insecurity and doubts and know I am nothing and have nothing. But then I don't remember the sweetness. And the sweetness? It's being fed by God Himself, who looks down and sees even me."It is sweet to be nothing and to have nothing, and to be fed with crumbs from thy hands." The Valley of Vision
After reading this today I thought of the Canaanite woman, the unclean enemy, who came to Jesus entreating His help for her daughter. Even Jesus' disciples thought He ought to send her away, after all she was SHOUTING, making a scene, you see. Jesus' words seem so hurtful, don't you wonder why He phrased it this way? He said He'd come to feed the children, not the dogs under the table. But she persisted, desperate,
"'Yes, Lord; but even the dogs feed on the crumbs which fall from their masters' table.' Then Jesus answered and said to her, 'O woman, your faith is great; be it done for you as you wish." Matthew 15:27-28Jesus fed her with the crumbs from His hand. She was rewarded with all the tender compassion of God Himself. Am I willing to be even a dog under the table feeding on the crumbs? I am! But now we can be children at God's table when we're reconciled to God through Christ. He promises to satisfy His children.
A good book to read a page or two at a time: Valley of Vision: A collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions